


Tapes

by Kat_is_a_kit_kat



Series: Tapes [2]
Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, F/M, JD is literally insane, Mainly angst, Mystery, Secret Identity, Tape recorder, Veronica gets a little paranoid after a while, vaguely based on 13 reasons why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:17:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_is_a_kit_kat/pseuds/Kat_is_a_kit_kat
Summary: Instead of JD getting shot, it was Veronica.With the grief of losing a loved one, he ran away to start a new life.His therapist told him to record tapes to keep a vocal journal.The tapes weren't just vocal diaries however, they were clues from JD to Veronica on how to find him.The question was, did he really want to be found?





	Tapes

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you remember that oneshot I made that's now becoming a fanfiction, this is it.
> 
> This is the fanfiction.
> 
> I honestly really love the idea of someone recording tapes as clues and the other person having to figure out the clues.
> 
> Tbh this entire fanfiction is just going to be mystery Veronica explores while dealing with her own guilt and shit.
> 
> Anyway, see you at the end!
> 
> (I am entirely blind writing this saVE ME)

It had been three years since the Westerburg pep-rally. Three years since Veronica had graduated from that Hellhole and moved on with her life. Her life, of course, was obviously tainted and she could never be the same, but she was learning to accept everything that happened and put it behind her.

She learned to accept that Heather Chandler was dead.

She learned to accept that Ram Sweeney and Kurt were dead.

She learned to accept the fact that the guy she loved was mentally unstable and insane.

She learned to accept all of it, however she still had one burning question.

After she had awoken from her coma, with everyone telling her that it was a miracle that she was alive, she wondered where JD had gone off to.

That was her first question to her parents actually.

Not, "How long have I been in this coma?" Or "How had things been while I was gone?"

Nope. 

Her question was simply, "Where's JD?"

Her parents both thought different things, from "Oh God, my daughter is still in love with that criminal!" to "Why is she so concerned with his well-being? She needs to be focused on her own!" but they both came to the conclusion that Veronica was worried JD had gotten off scot-free with his crimes.

That wasn't the truth, however.

. . .

After realizing that he might've killed Veronica, JD didn't want to stay around any longer. He disabled the bomb and immediately left Sherwood. Everyone thought he had left to escape punishment for his crimes. He actually left because he didn't want to live in a world where Veronica Sawyer didn't exist. He ran away from Sherwood and migrated over to Jamestown.

He started an entirely new life. He dyed his hair from a jet black to a chestnut brown, ditched the trench coat and black attire, and changed his name. 

He was no longer Jason Dean, the emo trench-coat kid who tried to kill everyone.

He was now Jackie Ford, a normal person with slight issues.

Upon starting his new life, it was difficult to get anything done. It was having issues getting a job, considering the fact that Jackie Ford had never been to Westerburg High-school, so he fabricated a rather intensive lie.

Jackie Ford had gone Westerburg High, but his records were destroyed by Jason Dean. 

He described the story like this;

"During my Senior year at Westerburg High, I became rather close friends with a fellow classmate named Veronica Sawyer. Veronica thought of me as a perky, optimistic person, and told me she rather enjoyed my presence. During that time, Veronica was dating a guy named Jason Dean, or JD as many referred to him. He didn't really like me, and I thought it was nothing more than petty jealousy. Than of course the Westerburg Pep-Rally rolled around. I don't know what had happened down in the Boiler room, but I do know that school was dismissed for two weeks and when I returned, they wouldn't let me in, saying that I had no records of being a student at Westerburg. I don't know exactly what had happened to my records, but after it came out that JD had murdered three people who had all happened to hurt Veronica in some way, I very much so believe that he would've done something to get back at me."

Unsurprisingly, everyone bought this story. JD was a miserable memory to almost anyone who attended Westerburg, and with all the shit he pulled, he wouldn't be unbelievable to think that he might've destroyed some poor student's records. 

This was the story that got JD accepted into a community college. The story that got him a job. But most importantly, it was the story that gave JD a new life.

. . .

It was a few months into his new life that JD decided he would go to see a therapist. He didn't want to admit it, but Veronica's "death" had taken quite the toll on his mental state. Instead of feeling anger towards everyone else, he took his anger out of himself. 

He couldn't find a 7-11 anywhere and it was slowly driving him insane. With no way to cope with his grief and anger, he started to self-harm. That was when he realized he needed a therapist.

His therapist went by the name of Jameson Hard, and he was probably the most understanding person he had ever met.

Dr. Hard had black hair and fairly tan skin. He seemed to like turtlenecks, as he always wore them with along with a pair of jeans.

During his first therapist session, Dr. Hard spent no time asking Jackie how he felt. He went straight to the point with the question of, "So, what is causing you to feel so depressed?"

Jackie bit his lips and avoided eye contact. "A couple months ago, I lost someone very close to me. I have no way to properly cope and so I've been self-harming."

"I see, may I ask who this person was?"

"It was a girlfriend of mine. Very kind and caring,"

"How did she die?"

Jackie felt tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes, "She was shot. She only lived long enough to smile at me, than she died,"

"I understand, did you call the police?"

"I did, but they pronounced her dead on the scene,"

"I see now, so you're coping with unresolved grief over a loved one, and because of a lack of communication and coping mechanisms, you've started to self-harm, am I correct?"

Jackie slowly nodded as he wiped the tears from his face.

"Since you're lacking both communication and coping mechanisms, I am going to see that I get you a tape recorder, so that way, anytime you need to talk or cope with your grief, you can simply record yourself talking and let it all out." Jackie nodded again, thinking of how this method was possibly going to work. "I will see that you get that recorder the next time we meet, until than, check in with me every other week, alright?"

"Sounds good," Jackie cracked a small smile.

Dr. Hard smiled back at him, "Good, I'll see you then."

It was a hard week leading up to the next visit. Many things still plagued Jackie's mind and he felt like everyday getting closer and closer to the visit gave him more and more anxiety.

Then it finally happened.

The visit with Dr. Hard went off a lot smoother than Jackie expected. 

Jackie remembered entering Dr. Hard's room like normal, the smell of antiques and must was quite a peculiar smell, however it felt almost comforting. He took his seat in one of the leather arm-chairs in front of Dr. Hard's desk. Jackie was dressed in a long-sleeved white t-shirt and blue jeans. His outfit would've looked pretty normal to an outsider, as it was getting rather chilly, however the real reason he wore it was to cover his wounds.

Dr. Hard was looking at some sort of paper-work when Jackie entered. Jackie assumed that it was his own psyche record, but it was too afraid to ask.

"Good evening, Mister Ford," Dr. Hard didn't take his eyes off the paper on his desk.

"Evening," Jackie nodded.

"So, as I promised," Dr. Hard leaned back in his chair and looked at Jackie, their eyes locked, but Jackie quickly broke eye contact. "I have your tape recorder," He opened a drawer on the left side of his desk and took out a fairly small box. "Along with that, I have a bunch of tapes for you to use,"

"How many tapes?" Jackie eyed the box curiously.

"About 26 tapes, I think, I'm not sure," Dr. Hard shook his head, "Anyhow, before I give these to you, I want to tell you something,"

Jackie took his eyes off the box and peered at him.

"Whenever you record a tape, you have every right to keep it private, however if you record something that you feel you can't keep to yourself, I am always open to listen to anything you have to say, okay?" Dr. Hard gave a genuine smile at Jackie, one that was full of compassion and empathy.

Jackie nodded and returned the smile, "Don't worry, I'll come to you about anything that troubles me,"

"Good, now take your tapes and record your heart out, you're dismissed."

. . .

Now you're probably wondering what JD recording tapes has to do anything with Veronica Sawyer three years into the future. The answer is the fact that Veronica happened to receive one of these tapes in the mail.

Veronica was still living with her parents, scared of living on her own for the fear of being killed and no one knowing about it. Because of this, it had been rather difficult to find a college for Veronica to go to. Instead of going to Harvard like she dreamed, she was going to a community college close enough to home so that she wouldn't need a dorm.

Veronica's parents were heartbroken seeing their child loose their hopes and dreams because of paranoia due to personal events. They wanted Veronica to succeed in life, not staying in Cherwood, Ohio, worrying about the past.

The truth was, Veronica wasn't actually scared of leaving home, she was scared of leaving the past. She had been trying for literal years to figure out where Jason Dean had gone off. Most thought this obsession was linked to the fact that she was worried he would hurt others. The real reason was because when she had been shot, she had seen what she liked to called 'her JD'. A kind, caring person who was scared of losing Veronica. 

Now, she wouldn't have cared for seeing that version of JD, and would've still hated him after coming out of her coma if it weren't for one thing.

JD disabled the bomb.

Veronica didn't know what to think of this at first, mainly, she was confused. Why hadn't JD blown up the school? Why did he stop after shooting Veronica?

She came to many different conclusions before settling on her current one.

The first conclusion she came to was that JD thought she was still alive and was afraid to actually kill her. She dropped this conclusion once she realized that after being shot she had stopped responding after being hurt.

The second conclusion she came to was that JD wanted a restart on life and wanted to kill himself off campus. She dropped this theory when her parents told her that his body was not to be found anywhere.

The third and final conclusion, and the theory Veronica stood by the most was that JD's anger was replaced by his love for Veronica and that's why he disabled the bomb.

All theories aside, Veronica had spent three long and hard years following leads that she hoped would lead her to him, but ended up leading her nowhere. Many people tried to tell Veronica that JD was a dangerous criminal that she had to stay far away from, yet she took no heed in their warnings. Because of this, many people gave up on Veronica, believing she had gone completely insane chasing after her almost killer.

Most thought she was chasing after him because of unrequited love.

The real reason she was trying so hard to find him wasn't because of unrequited love or hatred, but rather curiosity. She had many things she wanted to ask him, but the main question was a fairly simple yet complex one; "Why?"

Why had he actually disabled the bomb? Was it because he loved her? Or did he actually not want to kill anyone?

Three years, and now she had more questions than answers. It was almost like JD had disappeared into thin air. There were no clues for her to go on, nothing. Nothing but memories.

That was until she received a tape in the mail.

. . .

It was October 6th, 1992, a pleasant day with a nice breeze. Veronica woke up early, and decided to go outside and get the mail.

She remembered walking outside and and smiling as a morning breeze blew past her. She wore a pair of black shorts with a blue t-shirt, it was her typically attire nowadays, as she had ditched the whole blazer and skirt look after she graduated Westerburg. 

She opened her mailbox and didn't find anything unusual. There were a few white envelopes and a yellow package. She took the mail out and looked through it on her way back inside. The envelopes were bills and business letters addressed to her parents, so once she arrived to the yellow package, she was expecting it to have a label addressed to her parents.

Only it wasn't.

Instead of reading either, "Mrs. Sawyer" or "Mr. Sawyer", it read, "Veronica Sawyer".

Veronica was incredibly confused by this. All her friends had moved on from her and rarely sent her anything spare for a birthday card ever year. She hurried inside, dropping all her parent's mail on the dining room table and tearing her package open almost immediately.

She dumped it's contents out on the table and all it contained was a small black tape with a label that read, "Tape 1: Veronica Sawyer".

She didn't need to be a genius to figure out what it meant. She hoped that it would be a direct clue to JD's location, maybe a friend of his sent it to her. But she couldn't jump to any theories right now, she had a tape to listen to.

Veronica dashed upstairs to her room and practically slammed the door shut. She ran over to her closet and pulled the door open. She knew that somewhere in here she had a tape player. She requested it for her 16th birthday and after receiving it she didn't use it whatsoever. 

She pulled on a small string in the middle of her closet and instantly everything around her was illuminated by a yellow glow. Her eyes hastily analyzed the closet and she quickly found what she was looking for. It was laying on-top of one her top shelves, collecting dust. She reached for it and barely was able to touch it. She tried again but was still unable to reach it. She sighed and walked out of her closet. She tossed the small tape onto her bed and went back in.

When she went back inside the closet, she moved one of her many boxes filled with clothes over so she could use it as a step stool. Upon stepping on the box, Veronica was easily able to reach the tape player. She carefully grabbed it, not wanting it to break on her before she could listen to whatever message had been sent to her. While she considered the stability of the player, she didn't consider the stability of the box, as almost immediately after she grabbed the player, the box collapsed and she fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Veronica took quite a few seconds to recover from this, mainly, she was having a miniature panic attack at the thought of breaking the player. She looked down at the item stuffed in between her arms and saw that it was in pristine condition, minus being quite a bit dusty. She smiled and stood up, walking slowly over to her bed.

She laid the tape player on the bed and popped the tape inside. The message it played was not one she was expecting, but one that answered nearly all her questions.

The tape's message went like this:

"Dear Veronica Sawyer

It's been a couple of months since your death, and I haven't spent one moment not missing you. I miss your voice, your presence, your face, I really miss you.

It's been hard dealing with your death, I have started a new life and used my old one as a crutch to get this one going, yet you still plague my mind. 

I seem to have lost all my anger upon losing you, and I don't know if that's good or bad. All I know is that I visited a therapist and he told me to record these whenever I felt alone.

I think I might send these to your parents when I'm ready. I'll send them when I'm ready to go back, to go back to being Jason Dean.

Heh, if only you could see me now. I look entirely different, almost like a new person.

Anyhow, if I ever do end up trying to turn myself in, I think I'll arrange it like some sort of mystery. Yeah. That'd be fun.

If you are alive and do receive this tape, I wanted to let you know that I love you. I really do. I'm sorry that the only way I could show this was through horrible and violent crimes, but I hope one day you'll understand.

Anyhow, if you're interested in finding and bringing me to Justice, the second tape of this is at a place I constantly spent time at. 

Veronica would know where it is, if she's somehow still alive, ask her, you'll find that place instantly.

Sincerely, Jason Dean."

Veronica spent no time analyzing the message, she had a 7-11 to visit.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit this chapter took 9 hours to write and I heckin love it
> 
> Anyhow, I'm going to try to update this as much as every Wednesday, but uh I can already tell it's going to be a rather long fanfiction,
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and have a lovely day/night!


End file.
